Leta Blake

author. human. working hard to become stellar at life.

Leta

Five Shuffled Songs! Witness, Spoon, Thorn, etc! #music

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1. Come On Home to Me by Tracey Thorn of Everything But the Girl
[youtube=http://youtu.be/GfsknE44QBU]
One of my favorite songs. Wrote a story about this song once.

2. Car Radio by Spoon
[youtube=http://youtu.be/qi8sxeAaS_0]

3. Another Mystery – Dar Williams
[youtube=http://youtu.be/QA1asaC4_5Q]
Preach, Dar. Preach. I’ll c/p something I posted to Facebook the other day about this song.

Man, this song speaks to me more and more as I get older. I was thinking about it in the car this morning because I’d read some Tumblr posts from girls who say they want to be like Laura Palmer (the mysterious, beautiful, girl who is loved/wanted by everyone) and another post about how Laura Palmer was a Mary Sue (which, uh, was the entire point of her! She was impossible! Lynch was clearly critiquing society’s expectations of women with Laura! She couldn’t have existed in reality and her monstrosities were due to her Mary Sue-ness — all things to all people, sex machine, goddess, whore, virgin, daddy’s girl, best friend, volunteer, star student, cheerleader, etc, etc). And the posts about wanting to be like her just gave me the shivers. I was like, “Oh, God, no. I don’t want to be a mystery. Preach Dar.”

4. Who Is Like This One? – Hello Saferide
[youtube=http://youtu.be/RAnFBXHUKaA]
Damn, I love this song. I titled a story after a lyric from it once.
“But you are the only one I’ve met who’s ‘God Only Knows’
I liked you the first time I met you
and it grows and grows and grows”

5. Witness by Tori Amos
[youtube=http://youtu.be/MOeED7EUwWs]
I am a weirdo because I like this one and a lot of folks don’t. *shrug*

cover-web-copy
Training Season can be purchased at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Kobo, ARe, and Smashwords. And also on iBooks.
Unquestionably talented figure skater Matty Marcus is willing to sacrifice everything for his Olympic dream, but his lack of discipline cost him the gold once before. Now the pressure’s on. He needs a coach who can keep him in line, but top coaches don’t come cheap, and Matty can’t afford to stay in the game no matter how badly he wants to win.
When a lucrative house-sitting gig brings him to rural Montana, Matty does his best to maintain his training regimen. Local residents turn out to be surprisingly tolerant of his flamboyant style, especially handsome young rancher Rob Lovely, who proves to be much more than a cowboy stereotype. Just as Matty requires a firm hand to perform his best on the ice, Rob shows him how strong he can be when he relinquishes control in the bedroom. With new-found self-assurance, he drives himself harder to go straight to the top.
But competition has a timetable, and to achieve his Olympic dream, Matty will have to join his new coach in New York City, leaving Rob behind. Now he must face the ultimate test. Has he truly learned how to win—on and off the ice—during his training season?

“A+ Would sit home on a Saturday night to read again!” Carly’s review of Training Season #mmromance #gay #kindle

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“A+ Would sit home on a Saturday night to read again!”

Goodreads | Carly (The United States)’s review of Training Season.

cover-web-copy
Training Season can be purchased at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Kobo, ARe, and Smashwords. And also on iBooks.
Unquestionably talented figure skater Matty Marcus is willing to sacrifice everything for his Olympic dream, but his lack of discipline cost him the gold once before. Now the pressure’s on. He needs a coach who can keep him in line, but top coaches don’t come cheap, and Matty can’t afford to stay in the game no matter how badly he wants to win.
When a lucrative house-sitting gig brings him to rural Montana, Matty does his best to maintain his training regimen. Local residents turn out to be surprisingly tolerant of his flamboyant style, especially handsome young rancher Rob Lovely, who proves to be much more than a cowboy stereotype. Just as Matty requires a firm hand to perform his best on the ice, Rob shows him how strong he can be when he relinquishes control in the bedroom. With new-found self-assurance, he drives himself harder to go straight to the top.
But competition has a timetable, and to achieve his Olympic dream, Matty will have to join his new coach in New York City, leaving Rob behind. Now he must face the ultimate test. Has he truly learned how to win—on and off the ice—during his training season?

I Contain Multitudes: Bisexual, Gay, Lesbian, Straight, Male, Female #LGBT #hetero

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So, you know, I don’t know if this is because I’m a writer or if it’s because I’m weird, but I feel like there are all kinds of sexualities and people inside of me that just don’t have an expression in my physical form and me as I live my life now. I often talk about “my inner straight man” or “my inner lesbian” or “my inner gay man” and I think people think I’m kidding. I’m not. My inner straight dude totally has a type and I get really hot and bothered and entirely flaily whenever I am around someone who meets his criteria. If I had a penis and was a straight dude, I’d have to ask the woman on a date or find a way to be closer to her. Alas, the reality I live in is I’m a woman, without a dick, and I’m straight, and like dudes. But…that guy is still in me. He’s still feeling really adoring of these beautiful chicks that he’d totally want to make babies with and do manly chores for.

My inner straight men would really like to get to know this woman better, okay? Like in a naked way.
My inner straight men would really like to get to know this woman better, okay? Like in a naked way.

My lesbian also has a type and that kind of woman is entirely different from the inner straight man’s preferred lady. She’s even marginally different from the actual, for-real, totally me-as-I-exist-in-the-real-world’s bit of bisexuality. I’m really not very bisexual, but there has been exactly one woman that I’d have been persuaded to share some passionate months with if I wasn’t married and monogamous.

For the record, the guitarist here? This is her. If I'd been a) younger, b) unmarried, c) not with my now-husband, then I'd have let this woman show me some really stellar months and maybe years before I had to go back to men. Unf. She's so damn hot. The only woman really-truly-exists-in-reality-me has ever been attracted to in my life.
For the record, the guitarist here? This is her. If I’d been a) younger, b) unmarried, c) not with my now-husband, then I’d have let this woman show me some really stellar months and maybe years before I had to go back to men. Unf. She’s so damn hot. The only woman really-truly-exists-in-reality-me has ever been attracted to in my life.

Otherwise, the women that I find myself attracted to are really the province of the inner-lesbian. The gay woman who doesn’t get to live out her life in my skin because, well, I’m not her, but I am her. It’s weird. Like I feel like I’d need to look and just be different to ever really allow her to express herself. But, yes, her type of lady, the ones she gets all roused and hot over are not at all like the ladies my inner straight man likes. (Though, interestingly, neither my inner straight man or my inner lesbian like the media-ready model of a gorgeous woman. They like real, actual women, with real actual bodies and oddities.)

My inner lesbian is fond of the Samantha Brown type. Warm, feminine, and down-to-earth feeling.
My inner lesbian is fond of the Samantha Brown type. Warm, feminine, and down-to-earth feeling.

Inner gay dude’s type of man is 180 degrees different from my actual straight-lady-who-lives-in-this-straight-body type of guy. If I was a gay man, I’d want some moderately effeminate twinky guy for sure, but as a straight lady, I like “bear” types for lack of a better description. When I think about what my inner gay man wants, I feel taller, stronger, more focused and determined and would totally, definitely need a penis and a prostate. The kind of gay guys he’d be interested in would not be at all attractive to me as a viable sex partner. And yet inner gay dude is totally me, too. He’s just gay-dude me and he’ll never get to live an actual life, just like straight-dude me won’t, and lesbian me won’t either. It’s like they’re some AU version of Leta that exist on a plane that simply can’t touch reality.

Straight-me wants nothing to do with this kid, but inner gay dude? He'd top the hell out of him and then do it again...and then probably take him home to his mama and maybe one day get married, because he's heteronormative like that.
Straight-me wants nothing to do with this kid, but inner gay dude? He’d top the hell out of him and then do it again…and then probably take him home to his mama and maybe one day get married, because he’s heteronormative like that.

Anyone else have these inner people that are you but aren’t? They aren’t characters either, they’re much more solidly me than any of my characters ever are, but they aren’t me, either, and they’ll never get to live outside of urges and attractions that don’t fit my life or my body. So, let me know…am I alone in this sense of different selves? Or do you have any of this, too?

Charming, whimsical, sexy page-turner! Amelia C. Gormley’s review of Earthly Desires #ebook #gay #fairytale

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“The early part of this story was charming and whimsical, and very, very sexy. What surprised me was how it actually became such a page-turner once the plot started moving, and how deeply invested I was in the resolution. Extremely well-done!” —

Amazon.com: Amelia C. Gormley “Amelia”‘s review of Earthly Desires (Tempting Tales, Book One).

Earthly Desires Cover
Cursed as an infant with a lack of physical and emotional gravity, Prince Efrosin can’t keep his feet on the ground or his head out of the clouds. Laughing his way through life, he’s never been weighed down by love and lust.Then one fateful day, his tenuous tie to the earth is severed and he blows away on the wind. He’s rescued by Dmitri, a handsome young woodsman who suffers from a mysterious curse of his own, and the two strangers are irresistibly drawn together. Experiencing sex and love for the first time, they dive into a delightfully sensual and passionate affair.But the evil witch who cursed them is planning her ultimate revenge. Efrosin and Dmitri must fight to find their fairy tale ending and live happily ever after.

Fanwork Friday: Back to the Beginning – Deniz & Roman, Alles was zählt #awz #fandom #video

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Wow. Why do the Germans make me cry with their gay soap couples? Okay, fine, why do all soaps make me cry about their gay couples, regardless of nationality? Oh, Roman. My heart.

[youtube=http://youtu.be/Bwq-TggaPK4]

This is such a good, good, good, good video.

cover-web-copy
Training Season can be purchased at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Kobo, ARe, and Smashwords. And also on iBooks.
Unquestionably talented figure skater Matty Marcus is willing to sacrifice everything for his Olympic dream, but his lack of discipline cost him the gold once before. Now the pressure’s on. He needs a coach who can keep him in line, but top coaches don’t come cheap, and Matty can’t afford to stay in the game no matter how badly he wants to win.
When a lucrative house-sitting gig brings him to rural Montana, Matty does his best to maintain his training regimen. Local residents turn out to be surprisingly tolerant of his flamboyant style, especially handsome young rancher Rob Lovely, who proves to be much more than a cowboy stereotype. Just as Matty requires a firm hand to perform his best on the ice, Rob shows him how strong he can be when he relinquishes control in the bedroom. With new-found self-assurance, he drives himself harder to go straight to the top.
But competition has a timetable, and to achieve his Olympic dream, Matty will have to join his new coach in New York City, leaving Rob behind. Now he must face the ultimate test. Has he truly learned how to win—on and off the ice—during his training season?

Straight Guys Aren’t That Different… Right? – YouTube

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Straight Guys Aren’t That Different… Right? – YouTube.

I love this Davy Wavy video. He cracks me up.

I lost several hours last month when I was sick watching the videos of the straight guy in this particular Davy Wavy video, and then jumping over to some other mutual friend of theirs. It was a highly unproductive day. Heh. But fun!

Crap Happens! AKA The Truth About Anal Sex #davywavy #gay #sex

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Reading a gay erotic romance novel, you’d never know that anal sex between men wasn’t clean, easy, and fuss-free. However, as the following videos with Davy Wavy attest, that’s not always (or possibly even often) the case.
[youtube=http://youtu.be/EzH5kIEGmBk?t=2m27s]

[If the above YouTube video isn’t cued to the right place, it’s at 2:27.]

It’s interesting that in the video above they are discussing the tendency of the porn industry to also present anal sex as totally poop free. From that, I think we can all concur that lots of poop on dicks isn’t considered an ideal turn-on for human beings in general. There’s a reason it’s left out of porn and erotic romance scenes.

But, as Davy points out, it does happen. That’s why many gay men douche or use enemas to try to keep it from interfering as much as it might otherwise. It’s one reason, I think, that not a single gay man who has reviewed my book Training Season has made any noise at all about the scene where one of the MCs uses an enema as part of a non-sexual BDSM scene with his boyfriend. [Perhaps that’s another topic for another day: BDSM scenes are not always sexual.] Many straight female readers, however, have really clutched their pearls over that scene.

I can’t say that surprises me. When the characters started that scene when I was writing it, I said, “Hey, guys, readers are going to hate this. Stop.” But they didn’t stop. So I wrote it. And then editors didn’t hate it. So, we left it in, and went with it. I’m glad that we did. I feel like it’s something that is real and isn’t seen in every book out there.

I remember when I was in college an older friend said to me, “You know you’re with a man who really loves you if you can take a shit in front of him and he still finds you attractive later.” At the time I pondered that comment a lot, but I do think she was on to something there. I appreciated the characters in the book going to a place that few people seem entirely willing to even think about going. The scene was intimate and intense, but not sexual, and advanced the story in an important way.

Anyway, yes, shit happens during anal sex. Porn and the erotic romance might not want to show those realities very often, but I think that there is something almost fetishistic about refusing to contemplate the potential realities associated with a certain act. And I think the fact that gay male readers haven’t found the scene problematic speaks rather clearly to the fact that they’re cool with enemas and other preparation for anal sex that might include the dreaded poo. It’s straight female readers, who often aren’t as familiar with anal sex or the prep that goes with it, who are reacting so negatively to a preparatory scene, and, well, I think that says something interesting, too. Something worth mentioning and thinking about.

Anyway, below is Davy Wavy giving some life tips from his bedroom. Two are applicable to this post: when it doubt douche it out, and shit happens so don’t buy white sheets.

[youtube=http://youtu.be/KdifTiEzXaE]

cover-web-copy
Training Season can be purchased at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Kobo, ARe, and Smashwords. And also on iBooks.
Unquestionably talented figure skater Matty Marcus is willing to sacrifice everything for his Olympic dream, but his lack of discipline cost him the gold once before. Now the pressure’s on. He needs a coach who can keep him in line, but top coaches don’t come cheap, and Matty can’t afford to stay in the game no matter how badly he wants to win.
When a lucrative house-sitting gig brings him to rural Montana, Matty does his best to maintain his training regimen. Local residents turn out to be surprisingly tolerant of his flamboyant style, especially handsome young rancher Rob Lovely, who proves to be much more than a cowboy stereotype. Just as Matty requires a firm hand to perform his best on the ice, Rob shows him how strong he can be when he relinquishes control in the bedroom. With new-found self-assurance, he drives himself harder to go straight to the top.
But competition has a timetable, and to achieve his Olympic dream, Matty will have to join his new coach in New York City, leaving Rob behind. Now he must face the ultimate test. Has he truly learned how to win—on and off the ice—during his training season?

Homophobia’s Root – The Frozen Closet – Newsweek #gay #homophobia #effeminate

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“Today, there is more room for gay men but almost no room for effeminacy,” says Adams.

via The Frozen Closet – Newsweek.

This quote just speaks volumes, doesn’t it? It reeks of misogyny. Read the whole article. It’s worth it.

I’m with this guy. Go fuck yourselves, homophobic misogynists.
cover-web-copy
Training Season can be purchased at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Kobo, ARe, and Smashwords. And also on iBooks.
Unquestionably talented figure skater Matty Marcus is willing to sacrifice everything for his Olympic dream, but his lack of discipline cost him the gold once before. Now the pressure’s on. He needs a coach who can keep him in line, but top coaches don’t come cheap, and Matty can’t afford to stay in the game no matter how badly he wants to win.
When a lucrative house-sitting gig brings him to rural Montana, Matty does his best to maintain his training regimen. Local residents turn out to be surprisingly tolerant of his flamboyant style, especially handsome young rancher Rob Lovely, who proves to be much more than a cowboy stereotype. Just as Matty requires a firm hand to perform his best on the ice, Rob shows him how strong he can be when he relinquishes control in the bedroom. With new-found self-assurance, he drives himself harder to go straight to the top.
But competition has a timetable, and to achieve his Olympic dream, Matty will have to join his new coach in New York City, leaving Rob behind. Now he must face the ultimate test. Has he truly learned how to win—on and off the ice—during his training season?

Homophobia on Ice? What’s the problem? The judges. #figureskating #gay The Frozen Closet – #lgbt

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“The issue with figure skating is the judge/athlete environment and relationship is completely uncontrolled and chaotic… There is no other sport where the judge holds so much power outside of the arena, and the relationship with the athletes and coaches can seemingly affect the overall outcome of the competition. Figure skating judges offer input on costumes, personal life, hair and makeup, music choice. With so much interaction, impartiality becomes increasingly challenging.”

via The Frozen Closet – Newsweek.

Truthfully, this is a great article that sums up so many issues with the male figure skating world. I liked another similar article slightly better, and I’ll be posting about it over the next few weeks, too, with pulled quotes. But, in the meantime, I think this article is a good place to start.

All of these issues played into the figure skating storyline of my novel, Training Season. It’s sad how these problems play out in real life, too.

cover-web-copy
Training Season can be purchased at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Kobo, ARe, and Smashwords. And also on iBooks.
Unquestionably talented figure skater Matty Marcus is willing to sacrifice everything for his Olympic dream, but his lack of discipline cost him the gold once before. Now the pressure’s on. He needs a coach who can keep him in line, but top coaches don’t come cheap, and Matty can’t afford to stay in the game no matter how badly he wants to win.
When a lucrative house-sitting gig brings him to rural Montana, Matty does his best to maintain his training regimen. Local residents turn out to be surprisingly tolerant of his flamboyant style, especially handsome young rancher Rob Lovely, who proves to be much more than a cowboy stereotype. Just as Matty requires a firm hand to perform his best on the ice, Rob shows him how strong he can be when he relinquishes control in the bedroom. With new-found self-assurance, he drives himself harder to go straight to the top.
But competition has a timetable, and to achieve his Olympic dream, Matty will have to join his new coach in New York City, leaving Rob behind. Now he must face the ultimate test. Has he truly learned how to win—on and off the ice—during his training season?

Romance Lives Forever: Character Interview: Matty Marcus from Training Season @LetaBlake #RLFblog #LGBT

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Romance Lives Forever: Character Interview: Matty Marcus from Training Season @LetaBlake #RLFblog #LGBT.

Today I’m over at Romance Lives Forever doing a character interview with Matty. He was in a subdued mood when answering the questions, apparently, but hopefully he’s still interesting! 😛 Click the link above to read the interview!

cover-web-copy
Training Season can be purchased at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Kobo, ARe, and Smashwords. And also on iBooks.
Unquestionably talented figure skater Matty Marcus is willing to sacrifice everything for his Olympic dream, but his lack of discipline cost him the gold once before. Now the pressure’s on. He needs a coach who can keep him in line, but top coaches don’t come cheap, and Matty can’t afford to stay in the game no matter how badly he wants to win.
When a lucrative house-sitting gig brings him to rural Montana, Matty does his best to maintain his training regimen. Local residents turn out to be surprisingly tolerant of his flamboyant style, especially handsome young rancher Rob Lovely, who proves to be much more than a cowboy stereotype. Just as Matty requires a firm hand to perform his best on the ice, Rob shows him how strong he can be when he relinquishes control in the bedroom. With new-found self-assurance, he drives himself harder to go straight to the top.
But competition has a timetable, and to achieve his Olympic dream, Matty will have to join his new coach in New York City, leaving Rob behind. Now he must face the ultimate test. Has he truly learned how to win—on and off the ice—during his training season?

Growing My Leg Hair Out For Self-Esteem #feminism #shaving #rosacea

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I wanted to write about some of my deep thoughts on make-up and simply don’t have the brain power for it today. It’s all convoluted and involves all kinds of connected topics such as trans*women, the covering up of “blemishes” or scars, and my own experience with a changing face.

Aw, hell, let’s try for it anyway. Okay, here we go.

Basically, I wanted to talk about what’s real and what’s “not real” and ask us all to ponder some questions about that distinction. Let’s talk about me and my rosacea for a moment. A few months back, I realized that when I manage to successfully cover the redness up with make-up, I felt better about going out in public. I felt less ashamed to be seen and more secure. When I got stared at, I thought to myself, “Today they’re looking at me because they think I’m attractive, not because I look like a splotchy-faced clown.”

However, I also found myself dismissing these stares and any compliments on my appearance because I didn’t feel like it was “real”. I found myself thinking things like, “If they only knew how bad my skin really looks under this make-up, they wouldn’t be saying that.” So, that led me to wonder how make-up does or does not play into a trans*woman’s experience of feeling “real”. And what does it mean to women in general if they’re taught to feel most attractive by applying something foreign to the base version of the “real” them? 

BUT those thoughts are a month or so old now and while they still apply, another experience has interceded and changed the flavor of them. In the last month, I’ve decided/realized a few important things:

a) due to her genes, my daughter is likely to have pretty severe acne in her teenage years. Her father had it and, physically, she is his mini-me. I realized that would be hard on her at that vulnerable time in her life, and in a massive, huge, wow-life-changing epiphany, I realized I didn’t want to model for her an obsession with my own skin. I didn’t want her to see me fretting about how it looked, or feeling ashamed of it, or complaining that I felt unattractive. Which, I’m ashamed to admit, she definitely has overheard many times in the past. I wanted to start modeling a behavior for her that makes it known that what her face looks like is so much less important than WHO SHE IS. So, I’ve stopped talking about my face. Ever.

Picture (not me!) from Razor Free Inspiration.

b) I decided on a whim to not shave my legs again until the hair has entirely grown out. I realized that I’ll be forty this year and I’ve never really seen my body as it naturally looks because I’ve spent my entire life, since I was nine years old and started puberty early, shaving and making it out like my body is something that needs fixed.

When my eight year old started asking when she could shave and I found myself struggling to explain why she couldn’t yet and what exactly “you don’t need to” means (because who NEEDS to? we aren’t going to die if we don’t shave) I chose to do this “no more shaving” experiment. I’ll cop to the fact that I am still shaving my armpits because I don’t like how hair feels under there. I let it grow pretty long but it was bugging me, so I shaved it. My leg hair is not bugging me, though, so I’m going to keep letting it grow.

I might shave again when I’m done and I might not. It all depends on how I feel at that time and if it’s something that I want to do. I admit I’ll probably want to shave for bathing suit season. The social issues alone are something I’m not sure I want to deal with, but I’ll need to give that some thought, too. 

c) By choosing to not talk about my face, or allow myself to even act like the rosacea is bothering me, and by choosing to let my body be natural in terms of the hair on my legs, I’ve discovered that I am much more interested in who I AM than in what I look like. And that realization has made me see how many years and how many hours I’ve lost being distracted with concerns about what I look like. I can’t fathom that men lose even a quarter as much time on that same question. The requirements for men are so much less time consuming and don’t boil down to these tiny nuances like the shape of their eyebrows or if their pubes are properly trimmed. When my husband wants to go swimming, he puts on a bathing suit and goes. When I want to go swimming, I have to tame a forest first. It’s exhausting and, frankly, makes me say no to swimming a lot more often than it makes me say yes. 

Since I’ve stopped focusing on my rosacea and stopped shaving, my husband’s sexual interest in me doesn’t seem to have waned and may have even grown. Not because he gets off on hairy legs (which would be fine, but he doesn’t), but because I think I’m a lot less anxious and a lot more willing to just let it all go in the moment, which is, of course, a lot more fun all around. No more, “Sorry, I didn’t shave….” comments. Or turn-off conversations consisting of, “Why is my face so bad? I didn’t eat any corn. It’s so ugly.” Instead, it’s just me being me and me not apologizing for stupid shit like hairy legs.

So, yeah, so far it’s all been a big success and while I can’t say that I feel awesome about how I LOOK, what I can say is that I think about how I look a lot less, and that’s AWESOME.

If I have the inner strength not to shave and wear what I want…I have the strength and mental fortitude to do anything – L Kaur

“Male athletes berate each other by slinging words associated with femininity” – #gay #sissy #feminism The Frozen Closet – Newsweek

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Just think of the insults most prevalent in sports – male athletes berate each other by slinging words and phrases associated with femininity. From the elementary school playground to Madison Square Garden, men routinely call each other “sissy,” “wuss” and “pussy” or tell each other, “you throw (or run) like a girl.” Belittling a female athlete is to call her “butch,” “manly” or a “beast.”  The Frozen Closet – Newsweek.

I think it’s important to look at the underlying message behind these insults. I don’t think they are actually all that similar for men and women. The first set of comments has a much more global impact. For a male to be called effeminate, told they are a pussy, or a sissy, or told that they do anything “like a girl” impacts their masculinity. And in our society/world masculinity is linked with value as a whole person. Calling a woman “butch” or “manly” or “beast” is insulting, because it says that they aren’t a woman. But the real message behind not being a woman is…you’re not sexually attractive or pretty. Or, basically, I wouldn’t want to fuck you.

So, the message to men who show any kind of perceived feminine quality is “you, as a whole person, fail to live up to masculine standards”. The message to girls is “you’re not fuckable/marriagable”. The message to gender non-conforming males is all encompassing. The message to gender non-conforming females is less so. The implication is that they can still be good at what they’re doing. They can still be an awesome athlete, still be smart, funny, etc, but they’re just not fuckable. (And in a world where women are told from infancy that the most important thing they can be is fuckable, that’s a big deal, don’t get me wrong!) But effeminate men are basically told that they are something so much “less than” they “should” be. And what is that less than thing? Something resembling the always-and-obviously unworthy female. Putting females of any stripe at the bottom of the totem pole and only of value if they’re sexually viable for the straight men of the world.

Who has it worse? It’s hard to say. A woman is immediately at an eternal disadvantage by virtue of her femaleness and the fact that being female isn’t valued. A man, assuming he can “butch up” enough to pass muster in the world, is going to be head and shoulders above any woman in the world (heterosexual or not) simply because he’s a man (gay or not). But a man who is being targeted as too effeminate has it pretty bad, too. But the reason it is so bad is because their masculinity is being questioned. And masculinity is the definition of power and prestige and privilege in the world. If women weren’t seen as such a terrible thing to be compared to, if softness, artistry, gracefulness wasn’t seen as “woman’s work”, and if the words that mean “woman” weren’t used as insults, then there wouldn’t be this problem at all. If the things that are perceived as feminine were valued in the world then exhibiting non-masculine behaviors wouldn’t be problematic at all in our society.

Regardless, I feel like the quality of the insults are different. One is reducing a person who could have full privileges of masculine humanity down closer to the level that women already occupy. And the other is an attempt to strip the already low-on-the-totem-pole woman of her sole power–sexual attraction. Interestingly, though, I see that as much less worrisome or problematic, because if a woman is stripped of that power, but allowed to take on more privilege because of being stripped of it (acknowledged as strong, athletic, smart, etc) then it might not be that terrible of an insult. It’s still sickening that our world mainly values women for how much straight men want to put their dicks in them, but being called “butch” or “beast” might actually free a woman up to become so much more than a sex object.

(Though so long as society, and this includes other women, mostly value females on their sexual viability, it’s bound to make a woman feel bad about herself. BUT–and this is a huge but–the fact is that’s not what’s important about women at all, and learning to love a body that is athletic or capable, despite not being the world’s ideal of sexy, is hugely valuable.)

On the other side of the issue, taking a man’s masculinity, wadding it up, and tossing it away due to a perception of femininity in his interests or behaviors, reduces him from a place of human male privilege he was born into, and that reinforces not only homophobia but misogyny as well. There doesn’t seem to be anything freeing for anyone in that. Well, I take that back. It could be freeing if the man in question chooses to step outside of society and to value the feminine in himself and in others.

I think I’m rambling now. My main point was that the two types of insults have different end results. One involves the whole of a person’s being, and the other targets sexual attraction because THAT is already deemed the only thing valuable about that person because she’s female. But they are not actually the same thing at all.

cover-web-copy
Training Season can be purchased at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Kobo, ARe, and Smashwords. And also on iBooks.
Unquestionably talented figure skater Matty Marcus is willing to sacrifice everything for his Olympic dream, but his lack of discipline cost him the gold once before. Now the pressure’s on. He needs a coach who can keep him in line, but top coaches don’t come cheap, and Matty can’t afford to stay in the game no matter how badly he wants to win.
When a lucrative house-sitting gig brings him to rural Montana, Matty does his best to maintain his training regimen. Local residents turn out to be surprisingly tolerant of his flamboyant style, especially handsome young rancher Rob Lovely, who proves to be much more than a cowboy stereotype. Just as Matty requires a firm hand to perform his best on the ice, Rob shows him how strong he can be when he relinquishes control in the bedroom. With new-found self-assurance, he drives himself harder to go straight to the top.
But competition has a timetable, and to achieve his Olympic dream, Matty will have to join his new coach in New York City, leaving Rob behind. Now he must face the ultimate test. Has he truly learned how to win—on and off the ice—during his training season?

“Unbelievably good, and Matty and Rob’s story will stay with me for quite some time.” – Review of Training Season #mmromance #gay #ebook

by

“5 Double Toe Loop Golden Glittering stars for this story that has left me an emotional wreck.”

“Unbelievably good, and Matty and Rob’s story will stay with me for quite some time.”

via Goodreads | Bev’s review of Training Season.

SMASHWORDS COUPON CODE: XU64P

50% off! Coupon expires February 15th!

trainingseason
Click on through to Smashwords to use the coupon code above!
cover-web-copy
Training Season can be purchased at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Kobo, ARe, and Smashwords. And also on iBooks.
Unquestionably talented figure skater Matty Marcus is willing to sacrifice everything for his Olympic dream, but his lack of discipline cost him the gold once before. Now the pressure’s on. He needs a coach who can keep him in line, but top coaches don’t come cheap, and Matty can’t afford to stay in the game no matter how badly he wants to win.
When a lucrative house-sitting gig brings him to rural Montana, Matty does his best to maintain his training regimen. Local residents turn out to be surprisingly tolerant of his flamboyant style, especially handsome young rancher Rob Lovely, who proves to be much more than a cowboy stereotype. Just as Matty requires a firm hand to perform his best on the ice, Rob shows him how strong he can be when he relinquishes control in the bedroom. With new-found self-assurance, he drives himself harder to go straight to the top.
But competition has a timetable, and to achieve his Olympic dream, Matty will have to join his new coach in New York City, leaving Rob behind. Now he must face the ultimate test. Has he truly learned how to win—on and off the ice—during his training season?

Like Hate Sex and Figure Skating? Read Cold War by Keira Andrews #mmromance #gay #figureskating

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Review: Cold War by Keira Andrews — Joyfully Jay.

Read the above review of Keira Andrew’s novella, Cold War! 4 stars! Or click on through to buy below!

After an explosive locker room confrontation with his Russian rival ends in the most surprising and intense sex of his life, American pairs skater Dev Avira needs to refocus. He’s worked for years to win Olympic gold, and he can’t let himself—or his partner—down. Distraction in the form of steely and smoldering Mikhail Reznikov is the last thing he needs as he prepares for the biggest competition of his life. But with the Games only days away, they can’t keep their hands off each other. Dev soon learns that beneath Mikhail’s arrogant and aloof exterior is Misha, a passionate man who warms Dev’s heart and scorches his bed. They’re both determined to win, but for Misha his freedom could be on the line. Can Dev put his deepening feelings on ice as he goes for gold?

“My perceptions were completely altered [by this book] & that’s pretty powerful.” Review: Training Season | The Book Nympho #mmromance #gay

by

“My perceptions were completely altered [by this book] & that’s pretty powerful.”

“Matty forced me out of my comfort zone with respect to m/m romances. He’s effeminate, dresses outrageously and wears makeup, leaving no question as to his sexual orientation. I was unsure if I could connect with him and here was the power of the story.”

 “I’m thrilled that the author created Matty and wrapped this wonderful story around him.”

Read more of Jonette’s wonderful review here:  Review: Training Season by Leta Blake | The Book Nympho.

cover-web-copy
Training Season can be purchased at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Kobo, ARe, and Smashwords. And also on iBooks.
Unquestionably talented figure skater Matty Marcus is willing to sacrifice everything for his Olympic dream, but his lack of discipline cost him the gold once before. Now the pressure’s on. He needs a coach who can keep him in line, but top coaches don’t come cheap, and Matty can’t afford to stay in the game no matter how badly he wants to win.
When a lucrative house-sitting gig brings him to rural Montana, Matty does his best to maintain his training regimen. Local residents turn out to be surprisingly tolerant of his flamboyant style, especially handsome young rancher Rob Lovely, who proves to be much more than a cowboy stereotype. Just as Matty requires a firm hand to perform his best on the ice, Rob shows him how strong he can be when he relinquishes control in the bedroom. With new-found self-assurance, he drives himself harder to go straight to the top.
But competition has a timetable, and to achieve his Olympic dream, Matty will have to join his new coach in New York City, leaving Rob behind. Now he must face the ultimate test. Has he truly learned how to win—on and off the ice—during his training season?

#Free Recipe, Books, Gift Cards, and More! – Indra Vaughn: The House On Hancock Hill #ebook #mmromance

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HouseonHancockHill[The]_headerbanner

Pastry chef and bakery owner Jason Wood bakes a mean chocolate soufflé, yet his love life keeps falling flat. He’d blame his past if he wasn’t trying so hard to avoid it.

When his family’s farmhouse burns to the ground, he’s summoned to identify a body found in the ashes. Jason returns to Hancock, Michigan, and reunites with a childhood friend, small town vet Henry McCavanaugh. After fifteen years apart, their rekindled friendship soon develops into much more. But Jason’s baggage threatens their blossoming romance, and he leaves town unannounced to escape his feelings—and Henry’s feelings for him. He has learned the hard way if something seems too good to be true, it’s best to run for the hills. Jason stress-bakes more confections than he knows what to do with before wondering if he’s running in the wrong direction.

Available now at Amazon, ARe and Dreamspinner!

HouseonHancockHill[cover]
Available now at Amazon, ARe and Dreamspinner!
Today, Indra Vaughn is here on my blog to share a recipe from her upcoming book, The House on Hancock Hill. She’s also running a giveaway and has provided a wonderful excerpt from the book! Let’s welcome Indra! And check out her book!

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On the morning after Jason ends up staying at Henry’s house (completely platonically… for now), he makes some amazing French toast. Now, this recipe isn’t entirely the same, but let’s just say in the meantime Jason has discovered Henry’s love for all things Nutella 🙂

Nutella & Banana French Toast

What you will need:

• Tablespoon of oil or cooking spray
• 4 big bananas, the riper the better
• 8 slices of bread, whichever you prefer making French toast with
• Nutella
• 1/2 cup milk (you can use heavy cream if you don’t care about the calories)
• 2 eggs
• 1 teaspoon of vanilla extract
• cinnamon to taste (I always think less is more when it comes to cinnamon, but I know some people like lots of it!)
• Optional: Powdered sugar

Directions:

1. Preheat your oven to 350 degrees.
2. Heat the cooking spray or oil in an oven proof skillet over medium heat.
3. Pair up your slices of bread, spread Nutella on all of them, and banana mash on half of the slices. Then make closed sandwiches out of them.
4. Whisk the milk, eggs, vanilla and cinnamon in a bowl.
5. Dip the bread in the bowl until it’s nice and soaked. (If the bread is very absorbent, you might have to make a little more of the mix.)
6. Cook the bread in the skillet for 2 minutes on either side, then place all the slices in the oven on an ungreased baking sheet for 8 minutes, keeping an eye out so there is no burning.
7. Sprinkle a little powdered sugar on top of the toast to make it look pretty if you like, then serve up and enjoy!

Note: If you don’t like bananas or for variety’s sake, you can skip those, just add the Nutella, and decorate with strawberries or a fruit you do like at the end!

Time for the Giveaway!

The prizes:
1. A signed copy of The House on Hancock Hill + a choice of my backlist + a $25 Amazon GC + a selection of Swag!
2. A signed copy of The House on Hancock Hill + a $10 Amazon GC + a selection of Swag!
3. An e-copy in the format of your choice of The House on Hancock Hill + a $5 Amazon GC

Follow the link to participate –> a Rafflecopter giveaway

If you would like to get in touch with me in the meantime, you can find me on:
Twitter
Facebook
Goodreads
Tumblr (which is NSFW)
Livejournal

Now go forth and indulge in something yummy.

Excerpt:

Since the bakery had closed two hours ago, I considered not going inside the shop to check who it was, but the knock came again. I couldn’t remember any other time anyone had tried to get in at this hour, so I stuck my head through the kitchen door. A man was pressing a hand to the window and peering in. I didn’t need to turn on the light to see who it was. That build—those strong shoulders and narrow waist, sharp cheekbones and a well-defined jaw. An exquisitely tailored three-piece suit.

It was Tom.

If he hadn’t spotted me then, I’d have hidden in the kitchen and waited for him to leave. Swallowing hard, I wiped my hands on a clean towel, snatched off my chef’s hat, and quickly looked down. There was chocolate on my apron, a smear of marzipan on my sleeve. I had butter under my nails.

Well, he’d arrived unannounced, he’d have to take it or leave it. I unlocked the door and stepped back, pulling it open. On the threshold, Tom smiled at me in a way that used to make my heart swell.

“My God, Jason.” Tom said nothing else, and I couldn’t help it: it thrilled me to see him look at me like that.

“Tom.” I faltered. What could I say? Good to see you? I wasn’t sure it was. He grinned at me, and it was so familiar, it ached somewhere inside me even after all these years.

“I sent you an email a couple of days ago to say I was in town, but I gather from the look on your face you didn’t get it.”

“It’s been really busy.” With an apologetic little wave, I indicated the yellow and green Easter decorations, the chocolate ducklings arranged in a row according to size, the huge halved chocolate eggs filled with smaller sugar eggs.

“Well that’s great,” he said, smiling a warm, white-toothed smile. “I’m pleased. Is this a really bad time? I’d love to take a look around your bakery.”

“I—yeah, sure.” I stepped aside and let him in, locking the door again so no one else could wander in. At the back of the shop, I flicked the lights on and then watched Tom look around.

To see him here was surreal. He was part of a life that had been over for so long, I didn’t know if I was comfortable with him in my bakery.

Who was I kidding? Of course I wasn’t comfortable. Tom looked like he’d walked off the front cover of Forbes magazine, and I probably had flour in my hair. To be fair, he peered around with real interest. When he spotted the marzipan animals in every color imaginable, I thought he was going to press his face to the display window like a kid. Tom didn’t have much of a sweet tooth, but I remember marzipan being his Achilles’ heel.

“Those look amazing,” he said on cue, and I laughed. “Did you make all this yourself?”

“I do the confections and Alice does the bread.” Tom beamed at me, and I rolled my eyes. “Yes, you can try one.” I stepped behind the counter and plucked a little pink piglet off the tray, handing it over with a smirk.

“Thanks, Jason. I’ll pay you.”

“No need. Go on, try it.”

Tom bit off the nose. For some reason I knew he’d do that. “Mmmm,” he went, closing his eyes and making a dramatic blissful face. “Oh my God.” He ate the rest of the piglet and licked his fingers. “That article wasn’t lying.”

I frowned at him and took off my stained apron, draping it over the cash register. “What article?”

With a dismissive wave of his hand, Tom explored the rest of the display. “Just something I read awhile back. I can’t remember where, but it’s how I found out you owned your own bakery. Oh.” He straightened. “It was about opening a second one in Detroit and how it was quickly becoming a household name or something.” I hadn’t read the article, but I couldn’t say it didn’t please me to hear it. “Who was it that opened the other one? Denny Sherwood or something?”

“Sheridan. Denny Sheridan. Sherwood is the name of the bakery.”

“Right, of course.” He looked at me out of the corner of his eye. “Got to be tough to have a long distance thing going.”

Laughing at the badly hidden snooping, I said, “He’s married with two kids.”

Tom headed back my way and grinned at me with an open affection I wasn’t used to from him. “It’s so good to see you. I didn’t give you a hug. Can I hug you, or are you still allergic to affection?”

A sudden lump rammed its way into my throat when I thought about how I’d kissed Henry in front of his clinic, visible to all and sundry. I shoved the image away. “I guess not.” It was still awkward to hug him. Maybe because it’d been so long since I’d seen Tom, and he’d just appeared out of nowhere. Or maybe I was forever going to be unable to adjust to holding someone shorter.

“You look good,” Tom said, and I let him go.

“You too.”

After a silence that had me look away first, Tom said, “Is there anywhere we can get dinner at this hour, or does everything close at eight?” He laughed, but for some reason his attitude grated on me. Traverse City wasn’t that small.

“I’m actually in the middle of making a chocolate Easter bunny. I can’t leave it overnight.”

“Can I watch?”

That was the last thing I wanted, but I didn’t know how to say it without being rude, and I doubted very much the request would’ve bothered me if it had come from Henry. “Okay. Yeah, sure.”

The Easter bunny broke in two when I took it out of the mold. Tom was perched on the clean worktable behind me, and he laughed. It took me a good minute before I could turn around without showing moisture in my eyes. Tom slid off the counter and put his hands on my arms, rubbing them up and down, so I probably hadn’t hidden my dismay very well.

“Come on,” he said. “Let me take you to dinner.”

“I’ll go grab my coat.” I went into the small office. It had a little mirror behind the door, and I quickly checked my hair. It did have flour in it. Ah well, at least the scar on my chin was slowly beginning to fade.

Available now at Amazon, ARe and Dreamspinner!

HouseonHancockHill[cover]
Click to buy at Amazon!