Reading a gay erotic romance novel, you’d never know that anal sex between men wasn’t clean, easy, and fuss-free. However, as the following videos with Davy Wavy attest, that’s not always (or possibly even often) the case.
[If the above YouTube video isn’t cued to the right place, it’s at 2:27.]
It’s interesting that in the video above they are discussing the tendency of the porn industry to also present anal sex as totally poop free. From that, I think we can all concur that lots of poop on dicks isn’t considered an ideal turn-on for human beings in general. There’s a reason it’s left out of porn and erotic romance scenes.
But, as Davy points out, it does happen. That’s why many gay men douche or use enemas to try to keep it from interfering as much as it might otherwise. It’s one reason, I think, that not a single gay man who has reviewed my book Training Season has made any noise at all about the scene where one of the MCs uses an enema as part of a non-sexual BDSM scene with his boyfriend. [Perhaps that’s another topic for another day: BDSM scenes are not always sexual.] Many straight female readers, however, have really clutched their pearls over that scene.
I can’t say that surprises me. When the characters started that scene when I was writing it, I said, “Hey, guys, readers are going to hate this. Stop.” But they didn’t stop. So I wrote it. And then editors didn’t hate it. So, we left it in, and went with it. I’m glad that we did. I feel like it’s something that is real and isn’t seen in every book out there.
I remember when I was in college an older friend said to me, “You know you’re with a man who really loves you if you can take a shit in front of him and he still finds you attractive later.” At the time I pondered that comment a lot, but I do think she was on to something there. I appreciated the characters in the book going to a place that few people seem entirely willing to even think about going. The scene was intimate and intense, but not sexual, and advanced the story in an important way.
Anyway, yes, shit happens during anal sex. Porn and the erotic romance might not want to show those realities very often, but I think that there is something almost fetishistic about refusing to contemplate the potential realities associated with a certain act. And I think the fact that gay male readers haven’t found the scene problematic speaks rather clearly to the fact that they’re cool with enemas and other preparation for anal sex that might include the dreaded poo. It’s straight female readers, who often aren’t as familiar with anal sex or the prep that goes with it, who are reacting so negatively to a preparatory scene, and, well, I think that says something interesting, too. Something worth mentioning and thinking about.
Anyway, below is Davy Wavy giving some life tips from his bedroom. Two are applicable to this post: when it doubt douche it out, and shit happens so don’t buy white sheets.