So, I sort of follow the twitter of these gay dads that I’ve never met and will likely never meet. (And probably shouldn’t meet because I feel weird about the fact that I follow their twitter and they have no clue I exist.) I look at their twitter feed daily to see what’s up with their twins and if they’ve posted any new pics or videos. Their kids are seriously adorable and when they smile or laugh, it’s like the world becomes a better place in an instant.
Now, my bff will tell you that guys and babies are my kryptonite and it’s true. Men? Babies? I’m in. So maybe that explains it. But, thinking about it today, I believe it’s a little more than that. These kids are so damn happy and so obviously loved that it brings me joy just looking at their pictures. How could anyone be against this? These fathers worked very hard to have these children. They jumped through a ton of very interesting (and possibly controversial) loops to get their son and daughter. You can read all about that journey here on their blog.
I realized something else today about Matt and Josh’s twitter/blog while reading a comment from another man I follow. He admitted that he’d realized yet again how lucky he was to be alive. As a gay man, he’d struggled through his adolescence with self-loathing and suicidal thoughts because he didn’t see the possibility of a future that looked anything like the life he has now–a legally recognized husband, home, happiness. So, I realized, yeah, it might be weird that I look at pics of this family, but it hit me that if I’m looking at them, there are other people who find them, too. And some of those people might be adolescents who maybe haven’t ever seen or imagined Matt and Josh’s reality. And maybe some of those people are the parents or grandparents of a kid who has just come out and who need to see that, hey, their kid can find love and have whatever kind of life they’ve dreamed of, even if it includes a husband and kids.
(By the way, I believe there is absolutely value to be found in a life that doesn’t involve anything as ‘heteronormative’ in appearance as a wedding and a family, so don’t take this to mean I value this above all life choices. But, hey, can we really call two married, gay men raising children ‘heteronormative’ at all? I would challenge that assumption. But moving along.)
So, I guess I wanted to take a moment to thank Josh and Matt for sharing their life online for people to see and learn what is capable of happening in this world. If we need to see it to believe and achieve it, then Josh and Matt are showing a lot of folks that it can be done.